Time away from Motherhood

Tonight I am leaving for London to attend an autism conference.  Although I am looking forward to going I am also filled with a slight sense of dread.

You see I’ve never left Luca for longer than a night.  We have only ever been apart for a day at the most and this weekend will see me leaving him on the Friday afternoon and not getting home until Sunday afternoon.


I’m going to miss my little ball of chaos a ridiculous amount, I miss him when I’m working so two full days without Luca is going to be really hard.  He is literally like my best friend, we have so much fun together and even though he’s a monkey at the moment I love spending time with him.


I know he will be fine. He will be with Ant and I know they have lots of daddy & son time planned like trips to the cinema (I’ve banned them from going to see The Secret Life of Pets though) and I’ve already been told by Luca that he has every intention of stealing my spot in bed.  Yet I still can’t help feel a little sad at not being with him this weekend.  I think this feeling has been intensified with the tragedy of Jo Cox yesterday just a few miles away from where we live.  Knowing she will never get to see her children again and vice versa means I just want to hold Luca even closer and hug him a little tighter and basically not let go.

Instead I won’t be beaten by mummy guilt and anxiety.  I’m going to give him a huge kiss and a cuddle and send him off to play at his best friends before I go. I’m going to go and enjoy my time to myself as it’s a rarity and enjoy spending it with my best friend, Ash, who is also coming.  I may even enjoy a bottle glass or two of Prosecco whilst I’m there and look forward to a hopefully joyous greeting when I get home on Sunday.

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