Things are falling into place.

At the end of 2014 I took the scary jump into self employment, and whilst it’s been the best decision I have ever made and means I am now doing a job I love, it’s also been very, very stressful and far from plain sailing.

I made the jump into self employment to work with a child who was extremely complicated and would be my biggest challenge to date.  Despite being a physically and emotionally exhausting job I absolutely loved every minute of it. Unfortunately, due to circumstances out of our control as a team, this position ended after a few months.  Luckily I was able to walk straight into some more jobs relatively quickly.  Another two of these positions didn’t quite go as smoothly as I had hoped, for a number of reasons, and I had to make the decision to let these go and move on. This was very scary as giving up these meant losing money, however working in these positions meant I was losing my confidence and self esteem.  In fact I lost a lot of confidence in my ability to carry out my job and my performance in my role as well.
Despite this I picked myself up and dusted myself down once more and found more work. It’s safe to say though that by this point my confidence had been knocked completely and I found myself questioning whether or not I was actually any good at my job at all and whether I had made the right decision in taking on more clients or should I have given up and gone back to a regular office job.   
One of the roles I took on was with twins, both with a diagnosis of autism.  I started as the only tutor and got their programmes set up and running whilst the family found a consultant to oversee everything and found more tutors for the team.  This was always going to be a short term position over the summer as they were starting school in September and I couldn’t work the hours they needed around their school times.  I enjoyed working with both the boys as they were so different and each day was really varied. When the consultant came on board she told me I had done a really good job of getting their programmes up and running which obviously gave me a much needed confidence boost. 
At around the same time I also started working with another boy, also right at the beginning of his programme.  A four year old with no speech or means of communication. Three months into this programme he began to talk. Another huge confidence boost and reminder of why I love my job and the life changing things we do in this line of work on a daily basis. This boy has absolutely flourished since we began working with him and I’m so proud of where he is at and the progress he has made in a year. 
Both these programmes have helped me regain my confidence and since then it has grown and grown and grown. I know once again that this is 100% the right career for me.   
I currently work with three boys, aged between 4-11, all completely different and at various stages of their programmes, in turn my job satisfaction is through the roof. Can you ask for anything more than earning money whilst doing a job you wholeheartedly love? 
Towards the end of 2015 I had another confidence boost in the shape of a promotion which means I now also have much more responsibility on my shoulders.  This is a position I’ve been hunting down for a long, long time but really struggled to find any positions that would work around my working hours and family life, so I was over the moon when they asked if I would like to take it on.  Not only has it boosted my confidence and helped me progress career wise, it has also meant I can drop a days work and in turn means I can pick Luca up from pre-school once a week. It’s given me breathing space to get cleaning and shopping done but also allows me to do all my admin during the day too rather than having to do it on an evening and eat into my family time. 

This promotion came at just the right time and has given me so much more than just a pay rise (although the pay rise will help boost our savings and in turn mean we will hopefully have a house to call our own by the end of this year). 
After a rocky start to my self employed career things finally feel like they are falling into place and I once again am loving my career.  What a difference a year makes. 

Since writing this post one of the families I work for has decided to end their programme. I am always sad to leave a programme after putting in so much time and energy and becoming attached to each kid I work with, it’s literally impossible not to.  Especially when the family as a whole are lovely.  I wish them all the very best for their futures and hope to keep in touch so I can see how the little boy is doing.  
This does mean though that I’m now on the hunt for another family to fill my available hours but going back to all of the above I am now in a position where I know my worth and I won’t be sacrificing myself or my family to fill my hours.  These last two years have been tough for me as a self employed working mum but they have definitely taught me some very valuable lessons. 

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