Not in the car Mummy!

Due to my immense feelings of mummy guilt I’ve had recently I have tried to make the days I have with Luca as fun filled and special as possible. Screw the housework, quality time with my child is where it’s at! 

We have been to some lovely places, and had some great days out. I’m not gonna lie, I was feeling rather proud of myself and my mummy skills until… 


“Mummy, I don’t want to go in the car. I want to stay at home and play.” Luca informed me as we were getting ready for another day trip out.


Talk about a moment of revelation. To begin with I felt guilty that I had been dragging him out because I was trying to make myself feel better and ease my own conscience. But that soon faded. I mean come on, he’s one lucky monkey that we have the option to take him places and treat him as much as we do.  

Instead I listened and learnt. 

That day we stayed at home and played ALL day. I did no house work and spent all my time lavishing Luca with my undivided attention.  Since then I make sure I ask him what HE wants to do, not what I think he wants. Yes, we still go out to lovely places but we spend much more time at home just playing together. It’s been such a nice thing to discover that all he wants to do is play with me. That all he really wants is me, not fancy days out, just his mummy and his toys.

Since spending our time at home together it’s really allowed me to see things I may have missed.  I’ve witnessed his imagination flourish in the last few weeks.  He’s really growing up now and with that his imagination is growing and we play some truly wonderful games together, all led by Luca.  I’d have missed out on that if we were spending more time at local attractions.

We also now have a little routine too, usually involving a sofa snuggle around lunch time in front of a film.  He constantly asks questions throughout the films too. Who’s that Mummy? What are they doing? Why are they doing that? What does he have on his hands? Why is that purple?  
It can get a little frustrating but I always answer him as best I can (I’m not always sure of some of the answers to be fair, kids films are weird) as I know it all sets him up for learning and aids in growing that wonderful imagination of his and expanding his knowledge bank. 

Housework is also now our thing. He likes to help with hoovering, washing clothes, dusting and cleaning out the rabbits. It’s also a little more fun for me to do these chores with Luca in tow too, though not necessarily as quick. 
He’s now taken on board the role as sous chef too and helps make lunch with me or prepare our tea. 

I’m so glad he decided to tell me he didn’t want to go out that day as actually, I think he’s right, we do have more fun at home together.

Who knew eh? 

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

13 thoughts on “Not in the car Mummy!

  1. Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely says:

    Aww, that's so cute. My eldest is a bit similar. Some days he just loves to help around the house and potter round with me rather than go out. I sometimes think that I drag him out too much when having a quiet day at home recharges his batteries. Also, your blog is looking lovely. Have you had a bit of a change?

    • Franki says:

      I think they probably feel like they get more time with your full attention at home which is contrary to what I thought. It's nice to just be and have fun together though and make fun out of things like housework. Yes I have had a bit of a change Rachel, thanks for noticing. 🙂 x

  2. pixiedusk says:

    Sounds like a perfect day to me. When we stop and stay is also the time we see more isn't it. This post is so nice to read. I really need to have a more us time with my son instead of always being in front of chores when he is home. #brillblogposts

    • Franki says:

      That's the hardest bit, ignoring the housework and just spending time playing when you know you could be doing laundry or something. That's why I've tried to get him into doing them too. X

  3. Mummy Tries says:

    What a sweet post, and I love the photo of your handsome little fella! My almost three year old often chooses to stay home and play when asked what she wants to do, I really like it, especially in Winter! Glad you've been getting lots of Luca time hon. If only the mummy guilt was as easy to contend with xxx

    • Franki says:

      Thank you, it's been lovely having time together and playing. I forget how easy it is to play sometimes and actually they don't want that much input from you, just for you to be present. Your right, if only it was that easy. X

  4. Honest Mum says:

    Beautiful post and you are so right, this is so inspiring and spot on as always (love that you're a behavioural expert, we can all learn so much from your wisdom and you are right, we must listen to our kids more.

    In our bid to constantly stimulate our children, often we are missing just 'being'. Kids need to be bored too, to know how to entertain themselves as well as just chilling out!

    I know when I'm off, I think we must fill our day with museums and the park when sometimes Alexander and then O when he comes back from school, just want to chill and spend time chatting and playing with me.

    Xander sounds so like Luca, the questions are endless-Oliver wants to watch more mature films now too like Home Alone (still post Christmas) and Xander covers his eyes and shouts 'that's dangerous Mummy' so we've now got a TV upstairs so he can watch Tinkerbell while Oliver watches films that won't upset Xander! Luca is such a smart boy, I adore your special relationship. We are so, so lucky arent we. Adored this post. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

    • Franki says:

      That's exactly it isn't it, there is so much pressure to be doing it 'right' that we forget that actually what is right is just spending time with them no matter where you are or your circumstances. Our time and love are all they really need. Thank you for such a lovely comment Vicki xx

  5. PhotoPuddle says:

    I have learned that too. I am always trying to make sure that our days are fun filled going out and about but both of my children have told me they like staying home and playing. And they play so well together too. I too felt guilty if we just stayed home but actually staying home and playing is just what kids love to do!

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