Back to Work Blues

This year, for the first time in my life I seem to have a
love hate relationship with Spring.  This
is unusual for me as I love all seasons. 
I love the changes they bring and the different traditions associated
with each.  I love Summer for the heat
and long lazy days spent outside barbequing and usually having a cheeky tipple
or two.  I love Autumn for the colourful
leaves that scatter the ground and watching squirrels run around collecting
their food stores for winter.  And Winter
has all the excitement of getting wrapped up warm to brave the cold and of
course Christmas.

However this year Spring is tinged with a slight sadness, I
have to go back to work.  This means
leaving Luca for 8 hours a day, 3 days a week which does not make me a happy
mummy.  In an ideal world I would be a
stay at home mummy until my children (hopefully there will be more in the
future) have grown up and gone to school, but for me this isn’t a reality.  Luca has only ever spent one night without me
so far and even then I was asleep in the next room, and I’ve only ever had a
few hours without him during the day. 
I’m not a clingy mummy and he isn’t a clingy baby, but I’ve never needed
to be apart from him yet or had much opportunity (my parent’s house was flooded
in June so they have been up in the air and haven’t really been able to have
him).  So when the time comes when I do
have to leave him for three days a week it will be very strange and hard for me
I think.

He is starting to change every day and I’m scared I am going
to miss things when I start working. 
Luckily my amazing mum is going to have him on Mondays and I have found a
fantastic childminder who lives just round the corner.  She takes lots of pictures and records
everything he will be getting up to when I’m not there so I can see everything
I miss but it won’t be the same.  I know
he’ll love his days there but I am going to miss him immensely. 

I am envious of all those mummies who are lucky enough to be able to stay at home and raise their little cherubs everyday.  I have to go back to work so that I
am able to afford to spoil him a little and take him places and show him the
world.  We could afford to scrape by if I
wanted to stay at home but I would have to sell my car and we wouldn’t be able
to do all the things we would like to do with Luca such as his swimming lessons
and taking him on day trips and holidays. 
So I am sacrificing some hours with Luca during the week so that the
hours we do have together we can be doing special things and believe me I have lots of things planned. 

2 thoughts on “Back to Work Blues

  1. HonestMum says:

    Oh sweetie you are such a great Mum and I remember feeling so strange getting back on set after Oliver. I did enjoy it though too and you might find it fun to reconnect with all your work friends. It's wonderful you will have 2 whole days a week with him too. I have so many friends who have had to go back full time. Things will be OK xxx

    • Franki says:

      Thank you! That means a lot and I know I am lucky that I don't have to go back full time and I know things will work themselves out, just finding the balance xx

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